Impact play is a common kink that’s practiced in D/s dynamics and S&M. It can be a form of punishment, teasing, and funishment. Spanking is the most well-known form of impact play either with hands and brushes. However, other objects can be used depending on the amount of pain or bruising that wants to be inflicted.
Short range vs Long Range:
Short range objects include hand, brush, ruler, belt, paddle, or anything that requires you to stand fairly close to the spankee.
Long range objects include canes, crops, whips, cat o nine tails, and floggers.
- Practice before engaging in impact play if you’re using long range or hard equipment.
- Always have your partner’s consent and a safe word. If you don’t have a safe word, use these colors:
red = stop
yellow = slow down or pause
green = resume the scene
- If the spankee is gagged or cannot speak, use a hand signal as safe words.
- If you’re using a whip, practice with it before using it on someone. Aiming isn’t as easy as it looks and you could accidentally injure your sub/bottom.
Also keep in mind that whips can break skin!
- Never hit the following areas:
Mid back - Your kidneys are located here
- These areas can be hit but with caution:
Face (only with your hand)
- If you spank someone with a cane or whip and the spankee bleeds, clean your equipment before using it on someone else.
A good thing to remember is that fatty areas work well with harder spankings and objects, while boney areas should not be hit with hard objects (like brushes and paddles) and should be hit moderately and lightly.
Don’t be afraid to attend dungeons and observe how others use their toys and ask questions.
Aftercare is extremely important. Not only could you have bruises and welts to soothe but you have to treat subdrop also. If you’re not familiar with subdrop or subspace, refer to this post or read on Google.
Having an aftercare kit is a good start. It should include an icepack, wet cloths, bandaids, a blanket, water and Gatorade, pain relievers, and energy food.
Do not leave your sub or bottom alone after a scene. Hold them, hug them, kiss them, cuddle them or anything that lets you know that you love them and soothes them.
If you’re shaking, feeling lightheaded, panicking, or hyperventilating you should lie down and relax. I recommend taking deep breaths where you breathe in from your nose, hold it in, and then exhale until the next breath comes naturally. This is something that I was taught to do for panic attacks. This should help the tremors (shaking) stop, help you calm down, and bring your heart beat and breathing back to normal.
Note on Re-Blogging: make sure to re-blog as text if you want the full content of the list to appear!
- Fetlife (Facebook for Kinksters)
- Informed Consent (UK)
- Datenschlag (DE)
- Submissive Guide
- Lord Morpheous - author, sex-educator, photographer
- Two Knotty Boys - rope bondage educators, authors.
- Midori - educator and columnist on adventurous sexuality.
- Fred Kyrel aka ShibariK - French Fetish photographer.
- House of Tanos - BDSM blog, Master/slave.
- Shibaricon- large rope bondage convention in Chicago.
- BDSM Identities - My own post on
- Darr_Syn’s Post Dump - Collection of posts by /r/BDSMcommunity’s Darr Syn.
- BDSM for Nice Guys - be a nice guy and a Dom.
- Restrained Elegance - slave position lexicon (nice pictures).
- BDSM-Chicago Tutorials - collection of tutorials.
- NLA Columbus SM101 - intro to SM by NLA Columbus.
- Bondage on a Buck - tutorials, homemade toys.
- DIY Tutorial Collection
- Leathercrafting Blog - leather, howto’s
- Make a Bullwhip
- Nylon Whip - Part 1
- Nylon Whip - Part 2
- Duct Tape Flogger
- DIY Velcro WristCuffs
- Be Knotty - Wiki
- How to Tie a Karada
- Rope & Knots
- Animated Knots
- Shibari Nation Tutorial on Rope
- Wiki Article on Shibari
- KinkAcademy - Free Video’s (paysite)
- Pleasure Shop Collection - free, short.
- Whip Making Tutorial 1
- Whip Making Tutorial 2
- "How to Be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM"
- "How to Be Kinkier: More Adventures in Adult Playtime"
- "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism"
- "The New Topping Book"
- "The New Bottoming Book"
- "The Better Built Bondage Book: A Complete Guide to Making Your Own Sex Toys, Furniture and BDSM Equipment"
- "On the Safe Edge: A Manual for SM Play"
- "Sm 101: A Realistic Introduction"
- "When Someone You Love is Kinky"
- "Rope Bondage 101" - Free PDF via kinkfriendly.com
- "A guide for rope bottoms and bondage models." - Free PDF via rope-topia.com
- "Esinem Style Takate-Kote" - Free PDF via esinem.com
- "Complete Shibari Volume 1: Land"
- "Complete Shibari Volume 2: Sky"
- "Two Knotty Boys Showing You The Ropes: A Step-by-Step, Illustrated Guide for Tying Sensual and Decorative Rope Bondage"
- "Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes"
- "Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé"
- "Bondage For Sex"
- DHGate - cheap, low quality
- Discount BDSM Gear - cheaper, okay quality
- HalfwayCreations - leather, high quality
- Mr S Leather - various, high quality
- Fetish Jewelry - jewelry
- Tandy Leather Factory - leather, leather working supplies
- StockRoom - expensive, high quality, various
- NorthBound Leather - expensive, high quality, leather
- Paddles Of Distinction - expensive, high quality paddles
- Bound to Please - bondage supplies
- Beautiful Bondage - bondage supplies
- Freak Clubwear - clothing, toys
- Jack’s Floggers - impact toys
- EMT Shears
- Aja Rope - hemp, MFP, paracord
- Beautiful Bondage (UK) - hemp, synthetic hemp, cotton, accessories, bulk orders
- BindMe.nl (NL) - hemp, jute
- Boss Bondage - hemp, accessories
- Erin Houdini - nylon specialist, UV reactive colors
- Esinem (UK) - hemp, jute, linen
- HandmadeRope (CA) - variety of handmade rope
- HempTraders - raw hemp
- Jade Rope (UK)(US) - variety of natural and synthetic fibers, accessories
- Jakara Shibari (UK) - jute specialist
- Jaoman (CA) - hemp
- KinkyRopes - specialty ropes, jute, flax, hemp, rope toys
- KnottyBound - hemp, jute, bamboo, bulk orders
- Madame Butterfly - silk specialist
- Maui Kink - hemp, jute, variety of exotic natural fibers, accessories, bulk orders
- McHurt (DE) - hemp, general bdsm
- Naturally Twisted (AU) - jute, accessories
- Omega Jute - jute
- Ouchy (NL) - hemp, jute, synthetic hemp
- Rawganique - raw hemp, hemp products
- Renaissance Rope - hemp, jute, bamboo
- Rope Extremes - hemp, MFP, nylon, synthetic hemp, paracord
- Shibari Ropes - hemp, jute, suspension rings
- TwistedMonk - hemp, accessories
- Venus Ropes - hemp, MFP, nylon, accessories
- Vintage Rope - hemp, cotton, MFP, accessories
- KinkForKindle - Free Kink Ebooks
- "Nana to Kaoru" - Cute BDSM Manga
- Sysmtoys - games, toys, ideas
- Tentacle BDSM Chair - yup
- Cherise Sinclair - Great BDSM Fiction Writer
bdsmgeek prepared this amazingly helpful guide to BDSM. I really, really appreciate it when bloggers take out the time to compile helpful guides and research tools for newcomers to the lifestyle. From personal experience and observing it at live events, I will say that BDSM done incorrectly can be very painful. But when it’s done right, it looks absolutely amazing. Please do the right research and practice before you try this out in the bedroom!
UNIQUE NUDES HOW-TO TUTORIAL on preparing jute (also works for hemp or other natural fiber) rope for shibari/kinbaku, using photos to demonstrate.
Rigger: Unique Nudes (aka Richard Rasner)
(Please leave credits intact while reblogging!)